Potty Training
It’s no mystery that we dread the thought of potty training. Yes, we all know it will be nice to have diapers as a thing of the past, but the thought of our children peeing on themself or pooping in the corner of the room is enough to make us second guess the process. So, when is a child ready? Some say as soon as infancy while others suggest waiting until they are toddlers. I highly agree with age readiness but also understand the pressure preschools put on us by forcing the issue. So here are my 5 main tips on potty training that I learned from working with preschoolers, as a nanny and my own boys.
#1 Age Readiness
I know some of you can’t wait until they are ready, but how do you know it’s time? If you try at age 2 but get frustrated and start feeling overwhelmed with cleaning up the mess, then the truth is they probably are not. But don’t get discouraged, we all know the struggle is real. For me, the magical age was 3. Both of my boys took to the potty with minimal accidents. What was my biggest trick? Waiting until after they were 3 when they had better communication skills. Even without putting them in daycare, the pressure to potty train was still overwhelming with (no offense to the older generation) the added questioning and doubting on when I was going to start the process.
I had waited a little longer with my second son; I was pregnant, tired, and he was much more stubborn than my first. About 2 months before his sister was born, I finally put my focus into training and it only took 2 days for him to go on the toilet with some minor hiccups. He was sleeping through the night in big boy undies after 2 weeks and then the pull-ups became a thing of the past.
Pro-tip- Having them know how to pull their pants on and off is always a huge help, so encourage that skill with lots of practice. My son strips naked before he goes and then brings his clothes to us when he’s done to put them back on. Not sure how the daycare will feel about that, so we are currently teaching him to pull down his pants without taking them all the way off.
#2 Pull-ups
This is one of those opinion-driven hot topics in the parenting world. Do you use pull-ups or just go straight to underwear? Well, here is my advice. Having them run around like a little naked feral beast for the first couple of days is ideal. This means clearing your schedule. If you’re both working and have the weekend off, then start with those 2 days. No driving or leaving the house during this time. I noticed that our toddlers did not like to pee on the floor, but they would pee in underwear. This is not the case for all children, but it helped us to have them naked because once they have their first accident and see what it’s like to pee without protection, the next time they should run to the toilet. Of course, every child is different but so far, out of everything I have tried, it’s been the most effective way to go (just a bit messy at first). If you must leave the house, put them in a pull-up to avoid an accident in the car seat. Also, use a nighttime pull-up or diaper until they’re ready to go without.
Once day training is complete, then you can start tracking the mornings. If your child wakes up dry for a week straight, try taking night pull-ups away as well. If you see they are still waking up wet, don't push the situation; bladder control is a difficult process and it’s not their fault. I also believe if your child is not fully ready, you can still throw them in pull-ups and encourage them to try. I used to sing to my son in a silly tone, “Mama is going potty in the big girl potty” just to set an example for him. In the end, he was in pull-ups for about 6 months, and never once went on the toilet, but it helped him with the practice of pulling them up and down. Practice makes perfect!
Pro-tip- If the weather is nice, it is completely ok to let them pee outside if that is where they feel most comfortable at first. It helps them practice peeing without a diaper and it is a lot less of a mess for you. I have a couple of friends that have trained outside, but note that they may want to poop out there as well. This is a good method for parents with a more natural way of parenting.
#3 Rewards
I may get some pushback for this since rewards are something we try not to do these days. The reason behind this is that rewarding your child for an action they make is saying in simple terms, “You do what I want then you get a present.” I’m not normally a fan of rewards, but, when it comes to potty training, getting them excited for earning a sticker by going on the toilet helped me. Ultimately, this is your choice if you feel comfortable with it or not.
If you do, then find a chart with a theme they love; check on Amazon or just grab a sheet of white paper and some themed stickers. My son is obsessed with dinosaurs, so we used a dino chart with dino stickers. Every pee he took was a sticker and every poop was 2 stickers. If he woke up dry, we went ahead and gave him an extra sticker as well, but we never told him this incentive as we didn’t want him to feel pressured to stay dry at night. Once he got 10 stickers, we gave him a dinosaur. Then when he got to 25, we gave him another one. We upped the number of stickers each round so it looked like this:
Round 1: 10 stickers = Dino toy
Round 2: 15 stickers (25 total) = Dino toy
Round 3: 20 stickers (45 total) = Dino toy
Round 4: 20 stickers (65 total) = Graduation ice cream party and, you guessed it, Dino toy.
#4 Stay Calm
This one is important. Like super important, so listen up. You can NOT get mad or discouraged if they have an accident. Even when it happens a week after you think they have been trained. Sometimes they forget to go on time, or they decide they want to see your reaction and test the waters.
After successfully having my second son naked for 2 days and going potty in the toilet every time, I thought to myself, “Ha-ha, I did it again! I’m amazing!” So, I decided to put underwear on him. Oh boy, was that a mistake. He proceeded to squat in the corner of the room to poop and pee in his underwear. I wanted to cry and scream all at the same time, but I didn’t. Instead, I approached him calmly and said, “What happened buddy? Let’s get you changed.” So, we tried again with underwear on and he peed in those as well. I immediately cleared my schedule and dedicated one full week to a naked toddler. Once he had it down no question, we put on those dino undies and VOILA! He did it! It was a proud moment and I realized that stepping back and assessing the situation, then taking action to correct it was the right way to go. Staying calm is so important because if we make them feel punished for having an accident or we feel discouraged and show them that, then they will feel self-doubt and it becomes a bigger issue. So, remember to take a deep breath. It’s just another mess, so have the right cleaning supplies on standby.
#5 Put the Potty on the Toilet
I have a stand-alone potty but, let me tell you, teaching them to go straight on the toilet saves you a ton of extra cleaning. Make sure to get them a seat that they can put directly on themselves. I like the ones with the little ladders; my son still grabs his seat and places it on the toilet, and we don’t have to help him at all. He feels independent and proud of himself every time he goes. Home Depot also carries ones that are built into the toilet seat. They’re ideal in my opinion because they are sturdy and you don’t have an extra piece of furniture taking up space.
That is it: age readiness, naked toddler, rewards, staying calm and patient, and a good potty seat on the toilet. Also, side tip, let them pick out their undies and their own toilet. This will get them excited about getting started.
Now take a deep breath, plan it out, stay calm, and clear your schedule. Message me on Instagram when you feel you’re about to give up and I will say “YOU GOT THIS!”
As always remember learning is key to a happy family.