Responsive Parenting
Imagine the world today if parents shifted from punish driven responses to proactive problem-solving with their children. While our parents may have lacked the tools for this approach, we have the opportunity to embrace a more effective strategy. Responsive parenting builds a healthy parent-child relationship. By the awareness of a child's emotions and needs, parents foster a nurturing atmosphere that builds the platform for emotional regulation and growth. This method is based on truly hearing children, acknowledging their emotions, and extending guidance to build their self awareness and self esteem. Responsive parents build a sense of safety that empowers children to engage with the world confidently. It fosters trust and open communication, establishing a sturdy groundwork for enduring positive outcomes.
In the world of parenting we have a lot of right and wrong ways to do things. I have found this style to be very effective.
Responsive parents effectively address challenges and nurture their children with clear boundaries, essential manners, and abundant affection. They prioritize guidance over shame when their child experiences emotions, supporting them through the process with understanding and care.
Example: Most children while shopping with parents will see a random toy and ask “Can I get this toy?” You respond “no, not today”. Then they start crying or whining, so what do you do in this scenario?
Before this escalates get down to their level and gently place your hand on their shoulder, look them in the eyes and say “we can not get this toy today, I see how cool it is and why you would want it, I also see how upset it’s making you that I’m saying no. If you want we can add it to your birthday or Christmas list.” Wait for them to respond, if they continue to whine or cry then say “I understand you’re sad about the toy but you need to understand that when we come grocery shopping we are not here for toys. I will let you pick out the cereal this week. So you have an option, you can quietly be sad while I finish shopping or we can take a picture of this toy and put it on your birthday or Christmas list.” If this doesn’t work and the tantrum continues, I would just say “Ok buddy you’re tired and frustrated we are going to go home” I have never had to leave the store with my kids but sometimes it takes practice and time for them to learn their boundaries and calmly leaving is the best option.
Acknowledging their feelings is how we show them it’s okay to be sad, but it is not okay to throw a fit. We raise our children to be respectful, kind, and caring. This is not to say I haven’t had moments of doubt and slip-ups, because I have and still do from time to time. We are all human after all and its during these times when my own emotional struggles can surface and in turn my oldest will remind me to stay calm. It’s in these moments, I realize that I am doing a good job. My children feel secure knowing that they can correct my behavior as I do theirs and it is ok. I apologize, strive to do better, and acknowledge that we all have room to grow. My husband also joins me in responsive parenting as well, because teamwork makes the dream work.
Even the most seasoned professional in the field of child development and psychology is continually learning something new. Here at The Happier Family, we understand the challenges that come with parenting, aiming not to judge but to grow alongside you, embracing this wonderful journey together.
Learning is the key to a happy family. - Nikol
